Pete's October 1996 Article.
"The Guy Who Lives Up the Street!" by Pete Bennett
There's a guy who lives up the street from me who has a great outlook on life. He sees thing in a simple sort of way, that drives me crazy. The other day he explained to me his views on the results of the cold spell we experienced last winter here in the area. He said he had noticed a lot more geese on the area ponds and that the weather was cold enough around here that the geese don't need to go any farther north. They used to go to Canada, now they stay right here in Pennsylvania. As I paused to think about this revelation, he said, ya know, the deer around here don't even go into velvet anymore. I said, oh yea? He said, they go straight into Woolrich! Now he had my attention, as he told me what his wife had said to him the other day. She said, I don't think I have your full attention anymore when I talk to you, to which he said. Huh?
Then about the mouse he had in his basement. It seems he drove all the way to town to buy a trap and upon arriving home discovered he didn't have any bait to use on it. He found a picture of a piece of cheese, in an ad in a magazine, which he cut out and put on the trap. You know what he said he caught? A picture of a mouse! Time to go home. I'll see you later.
Later I walked up and ask him what he had been doing. He said, I haven't done anything all day and I'm not finished yet. He said since June 21st we've been loosing about 6 minutes of light a day and there's not much time left to finish anything today. I went back home. Made it before dark too!
About a week ago his dog, which was quite old, got sick and couldn't hardly move. He took him to a local Vet and the Vet said there was nothing that he could do for the dog and he would probably die soon. He said, leave the dog here and I'll dispose of his remains for you for a $50.00 fee. The guy said, "no way," that's too much . He takes the dog home and the dog gets worse. Now he won't move at all, so he takes him back to the Vet. The Vet says the dogs dead. The guy says, I don't believe it, prove it. So the Vet gets a cat out of a near-by cage an puts it by the dog. The dog doesn't move as the cat walks around and even upon him. The Vet says, are you convinced? The guy says, yes. Get rid of the body for me and I'll pay you the 50 bucks. The Vet says, ok, but the charge is now $500.00. The guy says, why? The Vet says, $50.00 for the disposal and $450.00 for the cat scan!
The guy up the street is sort of a religious guy too. At least he says he would never want to be an atheist, cause they don't have enough holidays! One day his wife tells the new priest that he has a lot of time on his hands and the priest decides to call and ask him to volunteer some of his time. In the mean time his wife told him the priest may call. So when the phone rings the guy answers, "Straub Brewery," and the priest hangs up. A couple of weeks later the guy and his wife are attending a wake and the wife introduces him to the priest as her husband. The priest says oh yea, I know you, your the guy from the brewery! The priest says maybe you could help with bingo on Friday nights. The guy says he's not interested in Bingo. The priest asks him what he is interested in and he says, Hunting and fishing. The priest relates he too likes to hunt and fish. The guy says, lets go fishing then and forget Bingo. Amen!
He's a former Marine an the other day he told me he got shell shocked during the war. I said, how? He said, eating peanuts! Amen again and again and again!
footnote: It is with great sadness that I have learned my wonderful friend, the Guy up the Street", Rudolph Gornati, died on 23 July 2007. He certainly was a guy who brightened many of my days as well as all those who's lives he touched with his humor and smile. I know that he will be dearly missed by his wife Betty and family and my condolences go out to them. I have never revealed who the Guy up the Street was until now, not that I was not proud to be his friend but because he deserved his privacy. He was the best of the best!
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