Pete's August1998 Article.
The Guy Who Lives up the Street (Another chance) by Pete Bennett
Everyone who has read any of my stories should remember, the guy who lives up the street. Hes a friend Ive written about who sees thing just a little different light then you or I may see it.
Well since Ive moved to Butler, I regretfully dont see him as often as I did before. But we still do communicate (if thats what its called) by Mother Bell, of course. As a mater of fact I spoke at him just this morning. I ask him how things were going and if he missed me and he said no! He misses my dog. Come on, dont start it! He told me he heard the Game Commission is relocating some of the elk, out of the area. I said, what do you think of that? And he said he doesnt care and that they never should have stocked them here in the first place. He said, they should be stocking chipmunks. I said, chipmunks! Why? He said they could get more of them in the truck at one time and save money transporting them. Hey, there he goes again! He said, do you know the difference between an elk and a chipmunk. So stupid old me says, no. He says, you go by the size of their rack. He says you should see one with a radio collar on! Come on!
Well, let me tell you I, miss the guy. I had to take a drivers re-examination test recently and while on the phone with the guy I asked him a couple of the questions from the book. I said, who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? And he says, the pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying "Guns don't kill people. I do!" Next question, what is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? He says, the color. Too much! Thinking maybe Id catch him if I changed the subject I said, Why are seagulls called seagulls? He answers, because, if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels! Come on! He now says to me, I have a question for you. I said, shoot. He says, What's the name of the tenth reindeer? I said, Rudolph? He says, no, he was the ninth and he says that Olive is the tenth, cause thats what it says in the song, "all of" the other reindeer! Heres one that he asked that will really make you think, If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the opposite of PROGRESS? Just may be, right? Once the guy and I were walking around the block and a friend comes out to talk to us. The friend is the joking type and says to me. Im thinking of a person in your immediate family, its not your father, mother, your brother or your sister, who is it? I think for a minute looking at the guy who looks puzzled and I said, gee, I dont know, who is it? and the neighbor says, its you! At this point we get it and have a big laugh. We continue on around the block and meet up with another neighbor, sitting on his porch. We stop and the guy says to the neighbor. Im thinking of a person in my immediate family, its not my father, mother, my brother or my sister, who is it? The neighbor is puzzled and say he doesnt know. He asks who is it? And the guy says, its Pete Bennett! The guys not getting better! The guys own description of himself is sort of strange.1. Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. 2. On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not. 3. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance. 4. The world's full of apathy, but I don't care. 5. Perception is in the eye of the beholder. 6. Prejudiced people are all alike. 7. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds? 8. Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be. 9. I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity. 10.Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, he says, Its hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous). 11.There's no such thing as non-existence. 12.Cooperation can only be reached if we work together. 13.As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question. 14. He say, he doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard. 15. have my doubts about disbelief. 16.Generaly, one should never generalize. 17. Avoid clichés like the plague. 18. I always try to do things in chronological order. 19. A Plateau is the highest form of flattery. 20.I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not. 21. An oral contract isn't worth the paper its written on.
Now, you know what I mean! Thats it, Ill see you next time. In the mean time why not visit my Home Page at: http://petesallamericanhomepage.com/ for lots of fun and excitement.
footnote: It is with great sadness that I have learned my wonderful friend, the Guy up the Street", Rudolph Gornati, died on 23 July 2007. He certainly was a guy who brightened many of my days as well as all those who's lives he touched with his humor and smile. I know that he will be dearly missed by his wife Betty and family and my condolences go out to them. I have never revealed who the Guy up the Street was until now, not that I was not proud to be his friend but because he deserved his privacy. He was the best of the best!
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